Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby ... somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, normal is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct ... somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring ... somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good" ... somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices ... somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother ... somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first ... somebody doesn't have five children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child rearing questions in the books ... somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery ... somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten.

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back ... somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married ... somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home ... somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her ... somebody isn't a mother.

Copyright © 2006, Jace Carlton.  All International Rights Reserved.