I made a promise to myself to get in shape and I did it!  Round is a shape isn't it?

I have my own opinions on things ... is that ok with you?

Computers allow us to make mistakes much faster than we ever could by hand.

There are two sure fire rules for a successful life.
   Rule #1 - Don't tell people everything you know.
   Rule #2 -

Youth is wasted on the young.

Yesterday my friend called me a procrastinator and I was so mad that I vowed to get even with him ... soon as I get around to it.

I then asked him if he knew the meaning of the word apathy?  He said "No, and I don't care."

When doing any kind of writing, you should always avoid clichés like the plague.

People who are redundant by repeating themselves and saying the same thing twice really annoy me.

Free advice is worth exactly what you pay for it.

Change is inevitable ... except from a vending machine.

A preposition is a word that you should never end a sentence with.

I put a dollar bill into a machine that said, "get change here" but nothing changed.

If the shoe fits ... buy them.

Most women would rather have beauty than brains because men can see better than they can think.

If you want people to know where you stand ... don't bathe for a week.

I have found that the easiest way to find something I lost is to go buy another one.

Over exaggeration is a really really enormously huge bad habit.

Most mothers tell their daughters to marry doctors.  I told mine to marry an archeologist because the older she gets, the more interested he will be in her.

It's easier to let the cat out of the bag than it is to get it back in.

If everything seems to be coming your way, you're probably going the wrong way on a one-way street.

I think it's kind of mean that the word for speech impediment is "lisp" … think about it!

If you want to see someone you haven't seen in a while, go shopping without any makeup on and your hair looking a mess.

I am not a great artist but I am good at drawing a blank.

If you are what you eat then I'm staying away from nuts.

Oops ... too late on that last one.

California is known for its earthquakes and sunshine so I guess you could call it the shake and bake state.

I tried to learn yoga and meditation but my karma ran over my dogma.

Copyright © 2006, Jace Carlton.  All International Rights Reserved.