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Just For Fun
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is
like ... is like night.
3. On the other hand, you have
different fingers.
4. I just got lost in
thought. It wasn't familiar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all
statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give
the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I'm diagonally
parked in a parallel universe.
8. Honk if you love peace and
quiet.
9. Remember, half the people
you know are below average.
10. He who laughs last, thinks
slowest.
11. Depression is merely anger
without enthusiasm.
12. The early bird may get the
worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese.
13. I drive way too fast to
worry about cholesterol.
14. Support bacteria.
They're the only culture some people have.
15. Monday is an awful way to
spend 1/7 of your week.
16. A clear conscience is
usually the sign of a bad memory.
17. Change is inevitable,
except from vending machines.
18. Get a new car for your
spouse. It'll be a great trade!
19. Plan to be spontaneous
tomorrow.
20. Always try to be modest,
and be proud of it!
21. If you think nobody cares,
try missing a couple of payments.
22. How many of you believe in
psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
23. How do you tell when you're
out of invisible ink?
24. If everything seems to be
going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
25. When everything is coming
your way, you're in the wrong lane.
26. Hard work pays off in the
future. Laziness pays off now.
27. Everyone has a photographic
memory. Some just don't have film.
28. If Barbie is so popular,
why do you have to buy her friends?
29. How much deeper would the
ocean be without sponges?
30. Eagles may soar, but
weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
31. What happens if you get
scared half to death twice?
32. I used to have an open mind
but my brains kept falling out.
33. I couldn't repair your
brakes, so I made your horn louder.
34. Why do psychics have to ask
you for your name?
35. Inside every older person
is a younger person wondering what happened?
36. Light travels faster than
sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them
speak.
Contributed
by
Rob Sorensen
Copyright
© 2006, Jace Carlton. All International Rights Reserved.
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