Two antennas met on a roof,
fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't
much, but the
reception was excellent.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve
you, but don't start anything."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does
this taste funny to you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.' "
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were
nothing to look at either.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
find any.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I went to a seafood disco last week ... and pulled a mussel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you
can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them
to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," the manager said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an
open foyer."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them
goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a
family in Spain and they name him Juan.
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon
receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also
had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've
seen Ahmal."
Contributed
by
James Odle, Jr.
