1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.  Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.  Do not walk
     beside me either.  Just pretty much leave me the heck alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

3. Don't be irreplaceable.  If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

4. Always remember that you're unique.  Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.  That way, when you criticize them
     you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

8. If at first you don't succeed, well ... that's skydiving!

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer
     all day.

10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

13. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. Duct tape is like The Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

20. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

21. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.